What's in store for 2021?

KANISA GEORGE

Now that the season of drinks, food and endless fussing is over, there is one thing on the minds of most if not all women: the new year. Whether one is unconcerned or believing magical pixie fairies are ready to whisk away the ills of the year gone by, the new year is fast approaching, and many of us feel waves of anxiety. The year 2020 didn’t pan out as expected, and the uncertainty that remains means the next few months will be a test in patience and faith. But isn’t that what life is about?

We live in a world where our sense of direction is tainted by social media and the painfully unrealistic goals set by society. Surrounded by the notion of perfection – the perfect weight, marriage, and idea of friendship – we are tricked into believing that the only way we ought to achieve our goals is by doing so instantly. Have we become obsessed with instant gratification?

Positive psychology defines the need for instant perfection as the temptation, and resulting tendency, to forego a future benefit to obtain a less rewarding but more immediate benefit.

It might come as a surprise to some, but at the very heart of instant gratification is one of the most basic drives inherent in humans, the tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Sure, the lure of short-term pleasure outweighs the difficulties you may face trying to achieve long-term goals, but ask yourself this simple question: what have I achieved overall, and does it have a solid foundation?

Of course, there are times when instant gratification brings lasting rewards, like when a couple marries after weeks of dating resulting in a lifetime of happiness. But as we all know, this isn’t always the case, and sadly we get so caught up in the allure of instant pleasure that we don’t see the reckoning that’s about to take place.

In the same way, we obsess about instant gratification; there are many ways to overlook instant pleasure and deal with the difficulties that come with delayed gratification. Delayed gratification refers to when one resists the temptation of an immediate reward in preference for a later one. It is the ability to endure something difficult gracefully, which allows you to achieve something worthwhile later. One writer for Cosmopolitan magazine highlights that in a culture that practically forbids discomfort, deferred gratification is a valuable skill.

Though we achieve delayed gratification daily, like getting up every morning to do a job that most of us dislike, this sadly doesn’t attract many winners. The internet glamorises the instant rags-to-riches concept so much that we fail to recognise that hard work is required to help us achieve overall improvement and develop character. But how do we stay the course? Here are a few tips on how to achieve this:

Following psychologist Shahram Heshmat's ten reasons why it is so difficult to sidestep instant gratification, four of those reasons are reshaped to give us principles we could use on the path to delayed gratification.

1) A desire to avoid delay; because it’s uncomfortable to engage in self-denial, let’s face this demon head-on and do the opposite, self-motivated. Pinpoint the things you’re running away from, the things that scare you, and by doing this, you’ll find the very thing keeping you from achieving your goals.

2) Age; younger people tend to be more impulsive and chase their dreams passionately. Don’t let age stop you. Focus on the things that inspire you, those dreams that linger on, continually nagging you. Go after them.

3) Emotion regulation; individual differences in emotion regulation also impact our tendency towards instant versus delayed gratification. Bad moods, boredom, impatience, and emotional distress make us lean towards choices that will immediately improve our mood, making immediate desires more seductive. Please pay attention to your moods, especially during your menstrual cycle and don’t let them dictate your choices.

4) Anticipation; finally, the experience of anticipation can influence our decisions to delay gratification or seek it immediately. Because we are wired to anticipate positive things and dislike the uncertainty of negative, this leads us to decide to put things off or engage in them as quickly as possible to seek pleasure or avoid discomfort.

In the new year, focus your efforts on putting your best foot forward. Instant gratification is sometimes necessary but when it matters, choose delayed gratification. Paint a vivid picture of your future, create a mind map, stay motivated, and you’ll achieve it. Happiness comes in waves; it will find you. Happy 2021.