Sen Paul Richards: My mother, 90, survived domestic violence

INDEPENDENT Senator Paul Richards said his 90-year-old mother is a survivor of domestic violence.

He was contributing to debate on the Domestic Violence (Amendment) Bill 2010 in the Senate on Monday.

He complimented the Government for laying the bill in this parliamentary session and added that he had a "visceral aversion" to domestic violence and to "advantage."

Richards revealed that he, his mother and siblings were survivors of domestic violence. He said when he asked his mother if he could share her story in the Senate, she told him "yes" but on one condition: "Don't call me a victim. I am a survivor." She also told him that if his disclosure protected one woman or one child, then it would be worth it.

Richards said the shame and stigma that society places on victims of domestic violence must end and the silence needed to be broken.

He recalled that his late father, like many abusers, was a complex man and at times was a loving father. His father, however, was an alcoholic and he was abusive when he became drunk. He stressed that alcoholism is no excuse or justification, but it is a trigger like drugs, money or control.

"It does not diminish the atrocity, but I want to give a full picture."

Richards said children model their parents' behaviours, and a young man who sees his father beat and abuse his mother may think this is how he should treat his girlfriend or wife. Similarly, he said, a young girl seeing her father abuse her mother learns that this behaviour is acceptable.

"That is wrong. That is why this bill is so important. It is not a panacea, but it will go a long way in dealing with domestic violence."

He recalled a series of interviews he did with female victims of domestic violence called Survivors and the interviews included Tricia St John who in April 2004 lost her left forearm after she was chopped by an ex who had been estranged for ten years and who told her: "Is man yuh like?"

He also spoke of of Shanti, a 33 year-old mother of two, who watched her husband chop her seven-year-old son to death and then "in an act of cowardice" killed himself.

"This is what women go through on a daily basis in TT. And that is why this is so important."

Richards reported statistics from 2000-2019 which showed of 743 women murdered, 36.3 per cent or 270 were attributed to domestic violence, and this was the largest percentage.

"That represents over one third of the murders. That is how serious a problem we have."

He advised that police officers accused of domestic violence should be asked to surrender their guns. He also spoke about the rehabilitation of survivors and perpetrators, and said the bill was absent on preventative measures.

He said that the consensus and dealing with the issue in a sober manner (via the bill) it augured well for survivors and victims of domestic violence.