Psychologist: The traumatised survive not thrive

MANY people who have experienced prolonged trauma are surviving not thriving, said clinical psychologist Dr Karen Moore.

“If you are in a state of trying to survive all the time, there is a limited amount of what you can learn. There may be a lot of outward achievements, but there will be psychological areas that will be delayed,” she said.

She was speaking on Saturday at an online panel discussion on domestic violence titled Dealing with Violent Relationships. It was hosted by the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission (AFLC) via Zoom. Their minds and bodies are also affected because both are connected, she said.

“You learn to live that you will be attacked in some way, physical or non-physical, all the time. Part of you have to shut down to cope with the horror of what is going on,” Moore said. “You may become numb, just to get through life.”

It is not always easy to identify a victim of domestic violence as some women have learnt to compensate for it very well. Part of them, she said, is determined that they will keep on living and going. Moore suggested that multi-disciplinary teams and approaches are needed to deal with domestic violence in TT.

“If we start teaching children from the primary schools that domestic violence is not acceptable, there is going to be more reports on violence that the system has to be prepared to deal with.”

“We should start in primary schools, but we must be prepared that it has to encompass everyone. We must be prepared to address all aspects of violence. It has to be holistic.” Other panelists included Vicar General for the Archdiocese of Port of Spain, Fr Martin Sirju, and Samantha Griffith, project co-ordinator of the police service’s Gender-Based Violence Unit.

Two domestic violence survivors, Camika Mc Letchie and Valdeen Shears represented the TT Coalition Against Domestic Violence and shared their personal experiences. Mc Letchie gave some warning signs of a perpetrator such as constant contact and excessive calling and unwarranted jealousy.

“The person may accuse the victim of having another relationship without proof. Many say mean and derogatory things and pass them off as jokes,” Mc Letchie said.

For the part, Shears said the cycle of abuse must be stopped although the process is a difficult one. She called for better collaboration between all agencies saying everybody has a part to play. She also suggested that mandatory counselling should be available for the abusers as well as the victims. Attorney Marina Toolsie gave a legal perspective about seeking protection orders from the court.