Waiting to exhale post-covid19

Many people are looking forward to their lives getting back to normal after the country’s covid19 stay at home restrictions have been lifted.

However, one psychologist said those people are in denial and need to face the facts that life will not be as it was before covid19.

The stay at home restriction went into effect at midnight on March 29 and was supposed to be in effect until April 15. However, it was later extended to April 30 and then May 15.

In a Facebook poll, one of the most popular desires expressed was human interaction.

People want to be hugged and to see their friends and family in person. Other popular options were going to the beach, eating at restaurants or fast food outlets, and getting professionally groomed.

One woman said, “I am an introvert so I’m not a big limer but having no choice but to stay at home feels like a jail. After this, I want to go for a beer with my girls, check my boyfriend and just be out of the house.”

Still, others wanted to get back to work, travel, exercise in public spaces, go for a drink at a bar or club, go to the cinema, take a drive, or invite friends to their homes. Although one person said, “I want to stay in bed! I’m not interested in getting back into this fast-paced, stressed out life,” generally people wanted to get back to their routines.

Psychologist Ronald John said right now with social distancing and the use of masks in public, people were living in “an uneasy state” and want things to be as they were. He said while people will be able to do all the simple things they miss, in the medium-term, and maybe even in the long-term, people’s psyche will be different.

“The thing is, even if the population wants to exhale and get out of this kind of prison, I really think it’s a kind of denial of reality that a change has occurred.

“It’s not a change that’s going to revert easily. It’s a substantial and radical change. That expectation of normality is people resisting the change that is inevitable.”

He said after more than a month of being bombarded with local and international warnings about the dangers of covid19 and how careful people should be, even when the restrictions are lifted and the borders reopen, it will take time for people to adjust. Even without a doctor or the government telling them to do so, he said, most people will limit physical displays of affection, still stay at home when they have the option, and will not be partying in crowds.

Instead, he said, there will be a more sober reintegration into lives, relationships and workplaces.

“We have it so ingrained in our heads now about how we ought to live with each other that we’re going to be cautious, more circumspect. People talk to me about what they are going to do and getting back to life as normal but for a long time, what we know as normal, will not exist.

“A lot of people said they used this time to reflect, do some soul-searching, and do some evaluation of their lives and that kind of stuff. That may guide some people as to how they want to relate to the world when they go back. Very few people tell me they will be the same because people have been really impacted by this.”

He said he has been trying to imagine Carnival 2021 if there is one. He wondered if citizens would be willing to take the chance of so many people coming into TT, especially from countries that had a high number of cases of covid19.

John said people may no longer feel comfortable in crowds, or with greeting others with hugs and kisses. He added that people may not realise they are acting differently so people have to be aware of their feelings, acknowledge it, and own it.

He said even those who intend to return to their usual haunts and behaviours should not expect others to do so. They should appreciate what others have been through, realise how their behaviour may affect others, and adjust to that.

“Every individual will be different, but people need to prepare themselves and not expect to go back to what they left two months ago.”

Speaking to Sunday Newsday, clinical and counselling psychologist Nidhi Kirpalani said, “Going back to normal means that there was no experience, there was no difference, and that the event had zero impact.

This isn’t the case here. Persons lost their ‘normal’ in a matter of hours and days. People developed fear of a virus that could harm and inflict death, as treacherously seen in Italy. Family members were stranded abroad.

“Our social island now learnt to isolate, not touch or hug, not order food, not visit the beach or play cards whilst bubblin’ a pot. This is part of our culture as Trinis!

“Persons who enjoyed the time home alone maybe weren’t home alone anymore.

“The safety and comfort of schools, seeing school friends, box lunches, and working during the day for an income all changed. This did have an effect.” She added that the community struggled, people got more or less sleep, ate more or less, got more frustrated, experienced depression, anxiety, and trauma. Everyone, she said, adapted and changed in some way.

In the short term, she said, the virus was not gone so people still had to wear masks, wash their hands and practice social distancing. There is also the fear of a second wave when TT finally opens its borders.

“There is no going back to normal, as we are not the same persons we were a few weeks ago. We have experienced a different way of life. Whether it was a positive or negative experience, it was still different.”

Therefore, she said, people have to prepare themselves for a new normal.

She said people will have stress, anger, fear, and depression but they have to learn about their triggers to these emotions and learn and practise coping strategies. These could include deep breathing, grounding exercises, practise self-care, writing, and talking about these feelings.

She also suggested that people decide who they want to be. “What type of person am I going to be? Am I going to be angry and grumpy, cursing everyone? Am I going to be kind and loving? Am I going to be kind to myself and not blame others for my actions? Am I going to appreciate my job, my salary, my loved ones being alive and being able to simply hug them?”

Lastly, she said it was important to practise being that person. “Grow! Learn! Laugh and Love! Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings. Be in control of yourself. This is the time we can become the best version of ourselves.”