Talkative child?

On Tuesday evening I will get all dressed up and attend my son’s school’s Christmas concert at the Centre of Excellence. He’s one of the sheep in the Christmas story, and not a very pleased one at that, because he doesn’t have a single line. Not even a “baaaaaa!”

“We just walk on stage, sit for a while and then walk off stage,” he complained bitterly and I felt sorry for him in an amused kind of way.

“Just be the best little sheep you can be,” I encouraged, and drew him in for a hug so I could chuckle silently without him seeing me. And because he doesn’t have any lines in the play, he has appointed himself an understudy and has been learning everyone else’s lines, “you know, in case someone doesn’t show up because they’re sick or something.” I have to say, I give him points for optimism.

On the advice of one of my theatre colleagues, I directed him to the fact that in some movies, some major Hollywood stars with the biggest roles had fewer lines than many of their co-stars.

“Arnold Schwarzenegger uttered 700 words in Terminator 2: Judgment Day; Henry Cavill in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice had 43 lines; Matt Damon as Jason Bourne had 25 lines; Ryan Gosling spoke 116 words in Drive; Scarlett Johansson had about three lines in Under the Skin; and Johnny Depp spoke 169 words in Edward Scissorhands,” I pointed out.

I don’t think he found much comfort in that because anyone who knows my son knows that he lives to talk.

“You are trying to stifle my passion,” he once told me when I chastised him because he was constantly getting in trouble at school for talking too much in class.

“Yes, but there is a place and time for everything,” I explained.

“When you talk during class time, you distract whoever is sitting next to you and you are being disrespectful to your teacher, because he is trying to teach the class. If you’re asking a question about the lesson or you are trying to explain something, then that is different.”

But as crazy as it drives me sometimes, I allow him to talk as much as he wants out of the classroom. I read somewhere that there are many benefits to having talkative children. Apart from them doing well at school at all levels, they become very strong communicators for obvious reasons. From a very young age, my son developed the ability to hold a conversation with people of any age – from the smallest child to adults – without missing a beat. And because he is always talking, he thinks fast on his feet and is quite witty and entertaining. Additionally, because talkative children interact more with others, they tend to have a larger social group than children who are shy. As a result, their social skills are more developed.

Talking also involves asking a lot of questions, something that my curious sheep is always doing. I hear who, what, when, where, why, how at least ten times a day, every single day. And because I try to answer as best as I can, he will obviously have more information than the child who does not ask questions.

Their inability to remain quiet for too long forces talkative children to participate in more activities. They may contribute more to discussions, offer to help with chores, accept roles in plays, for example, and most times there is never a dull moment when they are around. #1son often finds me, no matter what I’m doing, because he always has to “tell you something.” Whether I’m folding clothes, washing dishes or whatever, he helps, with his mouth moving faster than his hands. Sometimes it’s to keep me updated about what happened at school or tennis, other times it’s a lot of musings and ideas about his plans for the future as an actor, YouTuber, husband and parent.

Of course sometimes I think my little sheep is a bit extra on the talking, especially when I’m tired and sleepy. But on the other hand, I always knows what he’s thinking. It’s a give and take. So, come Tuesday evening when he gets on that stage, his beautiful windows to the soul will have to tell the story he wants to tell. Because as novelist Samuel Richardson said, “When words are restrained, the eyes often talk a great deal.”