THE EDITOR: Potholes in TT have become such a part of our driving experience that I have even begun to place them into categories. I have over the course of the last few months been able to identify nine unique types of potholes. Here they are in no particular order:
Your normal, run-of-the-mill pothole: The regular one which pose very little effort in avoiding or otherwise manoeuvring around. It often simply involves angling the vehicle so that as you pass they are harmlessly between the tyres.
The pseudo pothole: Not a pothole at all in the true sense of the word but just as deadly. This is usually a depression in the road representing a WASA lock-off valve or manhole cover. They often lurk just in line with the path of your left wheel.
The edgee: A large hole lurking on the left edge of the road, sometimes partially covered by grass. Usually very deep and very “jazzed.” Most deadly at night.
The manicured pothole: An area of asphalt which for some reason seems to have been surgically removed from the middle of the road or lane. Usually square or rectangular in shape.
Several of them exist along the Golden Grove Road on the way from the airport. Like crop circles they seem to be evidence or some otherworldly force at work. Why else would they exist?
The camouflage pothole: This one hides on corners, the down slope of inclines or otherwise in some location where you don’t know it exists until you experience the death rattle of your shocks and spinal column.
The scattershot: An area of several small potholes in a tight cluster. These require a level of dexterity to manoeuvre around, but are usually so clustered that it becomes a matter of selecting the lesser of several evils.
The upside-down pothole: Believe me, it exists. While potholes normally represent a depression in the road, we Trinis have developed the ability to install manholes which actually protrude several inches above the level of the road. Take the zig zag drive behind Bhagwansingh’s, Trincity, from the mall and see what I mean.
The trench: Normally the result of WASA or some other roadworks gone wrong. The trench is an impossible-to-avoid monstrosity. Extending across the entire width of the road or lane, you simply have to surrender yourself to its power and hold on.
The potroad: Yep, again it does exist. What do you get when there is more pothole than actual road? Then it actually becomes a situation where it is safer to drive in the hole than attempt to find the road.
I recently traversed Mon Desir Road which connects the Southern Main Road, Cunupia, with Madrass Road, St Helena, and found that it actually exists. The Toco Main Road has also at times been in that said condition.
So there you have it, pothole 101, Trini style. Please, Mr Minister, save us.