I am: Stacey Ryan

Director at Ross Advertising from South Trinidad, Stacey Ryan says she is most passionate about love.

"Loving myself, family, friends – loving what I do for a living and the things to which I choose to dedicate my time."

These, Ryan said, are critical to her. Her passion is fuelled by the love she gives to everything she values in her life.

Ryan, 40, told WMN, "I use one phrase to contextualise everything I do, which is: 'I am.'" She said this phrase reinforces herself, to herself – whether for motivation, inspiration or strengthening.

"I might say, 'I am an old soul. I am beautiful. I am greater than the pain I feel. I am going to kick some a--. I am here to serve a greater purpose than myself. I am who I need to be.'"

These expressions solidify any mantra she attaches to herself. She said having been in advertising for almost 15 years, working for one of the most awarded advertising agencies in the region, "In the company, I am mainly responsible for client relationships, which I thoroughly enjoy. This is why I have been in advertising for as long as I have been."

What is your favourite thing about your life?

"Waking up every day knowing I have an opportunity to do things differently."

Ryan said she tries to not live a life of regret, though she does find herself, at times, revisiting actions and decisions with thoughts of how she could have done them differently.

"For a long time I existed, I was not really living. I was existing in a daily routine – not paying attention to what was missing, or why I was not happy."

It was not until she was studying at masters level that the trajectory of her life was redirected.

"That period opened my eyes, mind and heart. I met some really good people along the way who definitely made a difference to my thinking. That journey reignited my passion and desire to truly live a happy life. I was completely unbalanced.

"But after that year of intense study, I got a better appreciation for what I was not doing, which helped me align with my purpose."

Are you a mother and what’s your favourite part of being a mother?

"Yes, I am the mother of a 12-year-old boy, Kai."

Ryan said whenever she speaks of her son, people take note of how excited she becomes.

"He brings so much joy and happiness to my life. My favourite part of being a mother is just being blessed with the opportunity to guide this little human into the gentleman I dream of him to be." She said her son is kind, loving, generous and a mean defender on the football field.

"He makes me proud every day and I love waking up to his smile, receiving his voice notes as random as they can be. I love our long talks."

Her son who is now in Form One at St Benedict's College in San Fernando, she said, is now able to have conversations with her that make her proud of the young man he is becoming.

"He will be speaking with me and I can't believe this is my child. He was just three!"

What realistic expectations women have of men?

"Our expectations tend to be quite unrealistic. We perpetually become disappointed, feel hopeless and angry when men don't meet our expectations. My basic, realistic expectations include men being respectful, affectionate, considerate, supportive, honest, generous, intimate, funny, a little free-spirited, ambitious, definitely deeper thinkers."

Most of all, she said she expects a man to recognise his time is the best gift he can give to anyone – be it in his relationship, with his family.

"Quality time is something often taken for granted, using busyness as an excuse. My expectations of men are no different from what I expect women to give."

What do you find most admirable in men and what would you see as him setting a positive example? In terms of a romantic relationship, family members and friends.

"Vulnerability for sure."

Ryan said she likes a man who has the courage to show up without seeking to control.

"I see vulnerability as a strength and an ability to be true to self without fear of judgement or criticism. A man who listens and takes control when necessary. One not afraid to love and give himself freely."

What do you hope women will see within themselves?

"I hope women realise how much power we hold. We just need to know how to use it wisely."

She said many women are afraid to speak up or stand for something in which they truly believe.

"We have a voice, we have power and purpose. I really hope women can do introspection and realise we have the power to change things and inspire people."

Ryan said there is more to life than a pretty face. And so she hopes women will see that the inner beauty and acknowledgement of that colours everything else in their lives and how they treat themselves.

"We need to be true to ourselves – living authentically. A lot of women battle with low self-confidence and it cripples us from getting to the level we want to be at. We need to be bold and confident. It may sound like words – but if we encourage each other and have a sisterhood. We have the power to help each other."

What expectations do you have of your fellow women?

"Firstly, I always remind myself never to allow someone else's expectations to define me."

She said she expects women to accept who they are and listen to what drives them.

"I am probably also speaking to myself. But sometimes we really need to just take that leap to live with purpose, even with our fears and emotions."

What do you ultimately want for yourself?

Before giggling, Ryan said, "That's easy – an uninterrupted vacation. Joke – not really."

She said the first thing that always comes to mind is for her son to be proud of the legacy she leaves.

"I want my parents, who are my lifeline, to know they have done the most amazing job. With them, I am everything and they are critical influences on the life of her son."

Tears gathering in her eyes and her voice cracking, Ryan said she feels fulfilled and said she hopes her parents are as proud of her as she is proud to be their daughter.

"I want to be able to help inspire women to be the best version of themselves. If I can add value to the lives of a few women and inspire them to have a positive impact on a few women – there is so much we can do together!"

A message to other women:

"Don't be afraid to be vulnerable – vulnerability is a strength. Be authentic. Love!"