Who's watching your children?

The past few weeks have not been kind to many children in TT. From children dying as a result of a hit and run accident, narrowly escaping being hurt in a drive-by shooting, dying under strange circumstances at a children's home, to dying of hyperthermia after being left for hours in a locked school bus, the disturbing trend continues to dominate the news.

So much so that last week it prompted chairman of the Children's Authority, Dr Hanif Benjamin to plead with parents and guardians to pay extra close attention to their children over the July-August vacation, and to put measures in place to ensure their children are safe and secure. At a press conference at the authority's Wrightson Road office, Benjamin said, "Children should be number one. There is no ifs ands or buts about it." And he is absolutely right! Although it is not the easiest of things to pay attention to children every single minute of every day, as parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, older cousins, guardians, it is our responsibility to make sure that the children in our care are always being supervised. Accidents may happen from time to time, but they can also be avoided in most of the unfortunate cases.

Almost a year ago my six-year-old nephew had a near-death experience that still causes a knot to form in my throat whenever I think about it. In an unguarded moment, he slipped into a swimming pool, unnoticed, at a family event and when he was subsequently pulled out we were all convinced he was dead. Fortunately, he was resuscitated but had to spend several days in the hospital. The adults in my family are not the negligent type, but could that incident have been avoided? Hell yes! Had we all been more vigilant we would not even have had to endure the memory of what happened.

The "throw an eye" culture that forms part of our lives here in TT doesn't help the situation either. Leaving our young children in the care of older children or disabled people is a dangerous practise, because it takes mere seconds for accidents to happen. Leaving them with people we hardly know is just as bad for obvious reasons. I understand that as working parents, school sometimes takes on more of a babysitting role, in that our children are in a relatively safe environment until we pick them up. I'm ashamed but not ashamed to say that school frequently serves that purpose for me. But then the vacation rolls around and we have to find alternative "sitters". Some of us are fortunate enough to have trustworthy family members and friends with whom we can leave our children, or reliable, affordable camps they can attend. For those who have neither, tough decisions that prioritises the safety of children have to be made. But at the end of the day, whatever we do, the safety of our children must take precedence.

I recall years ago, when I worked at another media house, one of my colleagues, a single mother, would bring her two small, well behaved children to work with her. Sure from time to time she would have to stop what she was doing to attend to them, extending her workday by a couple hours. But she sacrificed and did what she had to do to put their safety above all else. Today, even though her son and daughter are much older, her protective instincts have not wavered. This country needs more parents like her.

I don't know about anyone else, but the recent deaths of these babies who had not yet begun to live does not sit well with me, and I frequently imagine what they may have felt during the last few moments of their little lives. The pain they must have endured, the harrowing sound of their cries, the desperation of their aloneness. If I feel this way about the children of strangers, I don't even want to think what I will feel if something as tragic ever happens to my ten-year-old, whose joy is my joy, pain is my pain, tears are my tears... I have always thanked the universe that my son never has and never will (knock on wood) give me the opportunity to forget him in a locked vehicle. Why? Because when he is awake he is always talking and when he is asleep he snores loudly. And like clockwork, if he is asleep he jumps up as soon as the vehicle he is in comes to a complete stop. As for other types of accidents, I can only teach him the importance of and ways in which he can avoid them, while doing all I can to keep him safe.

Here are some tips that may help with safety for children during the vacation period.

Make sure that your children know your cell phone number and the numbers of other reliable relatives.

Before family outings talk to your children about a adhering to the rule about you always being able to see them and vice versa. It may sound unimportant, but keep reminding them, especially the younger ones. It may save them and you from a lot of grief and heartache later.

Let your children know that if they ever become separated from you, they should look for a "safe stranger" for help, such as a mother with children or a police officer. Agree on a specific meeting place with older children ahead of time, just in case of separation.

Discuss safety issues with them about "unsafe strangers" in age-appropriate language.

If you are going to busy places such as malls, insist that they wear brightly-coloured clothes, especially younger children, so you can easily spot them. That may not sit too well with teenagers, but...

Insist that older children always check first with you before going into stores, play area, or even the washrooms without you. If you have to go to the washroom, ignore the stares and take them with you.

Your children should not be left alone at video arcades, movie theatres, play areas, or other public places. Predators are everywhere.

If you decide to spend time near water — pools, rivers, beaches — do not let your children out of your sight for a second. If that is impossible, rethink your outing.

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"Who’s watching your children?"

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