The Change

“So be sure when you step, step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and three quarter per cent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.”

― Dr Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

As I dropped my son off at school on Friday morning and tried to make my way to the cafeteria, I had to wade through the parents of the children who had written the Secondary Entrance Assessment (SEA) a few months ago. They sat and stood by, some a little more sombre than others, anxiously awaiting the time when their child's name would be called and they would be ushered into the principal's office to find out what school their child will be attending come September.

Meanwhile, their children, who had had a semblance of those anxious looks etched on their faces in the months leading up to the exam, were flitting around the school yard in a carefree manner, signing shirts and excitedly chatting with their friends. It was such a beautiful sight after all that these children had been through for the sake of the SEA. They had done the heavy lifting and deserved this much-needed break before they move on to round two of the academic fight — the transition into secondary school.

But the thing with that transition is that it coincides with another big transition — that leap from childhood into adolescence. That time when several important social, emotional and physiological changes place. Adolescents are curious, capable of critical and complex thinking (although they may not always show it), have a burning desire to be accepted by their peers, and frequently question their identities. While they mature emotionally and physically at varying rates, these changes may give way to feelings of awkwardness.

Moving from primary school to secondary school is a time of mixed emotions for children, and in order for their learning momentum to remain coherent and continuous, children need to make positive adjustments to their new secondary school, research on transitions by the Ministry of Education in New Zealand has found. "Where students experience multiple transitions because of transience, there are identifiable negative impacts on their achievement," the ministry reported. But what do successful transitions look like for students and how can parents assist with making it as effective as possible? Students who transition well are the ones who feel like they belong in their new school, and make use of the opportunities to get involved in school activities and programmes. They are able to make positive connections with their peers and teachers, and feel emotionally and physically safe.

Research by students at Oxford University found that, in the eyes of a child, there are five key elements that form positive transition.

Developing new friendships, which helps to improve self-esteem and confidence

Settling into school life in a way that causes very little concern to parents

Showing an increased interest in school and school work

Getting used to new routines and school organisation with great ease

Experiencing curriculum continuity

But, because no two children are the same academically, socially and emotionally, there is no "one size fits all' transitional method. Fortunately, we as parents know our children (or at least we ought to), and with a little time and effort can come up with ways in which to help ease their fear of the great secondary school unknown. Have in-depth talks about the differences they can expect, such as class timetables; different teachers for different subjects; and the fact that there will be an increase in the level and number of assignments and that deadlines will vary. Also:

Attend orientation

Insist that your child attend any planned orientation events by the school. Encourage them to take the opportunity to find out as much as they can about where they will be spending most of the the next five to seven years of their lives, even the things in which they think they will have no interest. Also, you and your child can visit the school's website regularly for updates and get answer to questions to things you may have missed at orientation.

In with the new, in with the old

The friendships fostered by your child during primary school does not have to end because they may be moving in different physical and academic directions. Insist that they keep in touch with their old friends, even as they prepare to meet new ones. This way, even as they venture into unfamiliar territory they will still have one foot planted in their comfort zone.

Right on schedule

While at primary school your child's schedules would have been dictated by you and their teacher. Now that they are moving up into the big leagues, they will need to learn to be more independent. If you have not already started, give them the responsibility of scheduling their activities. However, you may not want to start with giving them the "waking up on time" responsibility. Hold on to that one for a bit longer, trust me.

Set and agree on boundaries

Your child's entrance into secondary school also comes with a bigger social responsibility. Rather than waiting until the week before school reopens in September to decide on rules governing their social lives, why not sit with them now and have a discussion about it. That way, when the time comes at least you will have a point of reference if things become heated and threaten to get out of control. Just remember two things -- though in your eyes your child may always be your "baby", in reality that is has no bearing in the life of a teenager; and whatever you decide now isn't set in stone and can always be tweaked if it becomes necessary.

Mobilising the troops

Whether or not you agree, a mobile phone is a must for an adolescent, and not just for emergencies. The "we didn't have cell phones when we were at school and we turned out fine" argument has no merit. We had none because they didn't exist then! Check your child's new school's policy on mobile phones, set the ground rules for usage, and if they don't already have a phone, head to the nearest service provider and get them one you can afford. After that, your most important mission is to keep tabs on online activities.

Parents, change can be what we make of it. Help them make it a good one.

Congratulations to all the SEA 2019 students. You did it!