SEA ABUSE

CHILDREN’S Authority director/CEO Safiya Noel yesterday said there are many parents who are abusing their children as they push the youngsters toward success-at-all-costs, in the Secondary Entrance Assessment (SEA) exam.

She made this disclosure while speaking at the launch of Child Abuse Prevention Month under the theme: Strong and Thriving Families, at the authority’s Port of Spain office.

“We have the SEA exam coming up on Thursday and you would have heard clinicians speaking in the public domain about the negative impact it has on our children. So we want to encourage parents to speak to their children, encourage them, say you believe in them, that you have faith in them,” Noel said.

If they do not pass for their first choice, she continued, there is still a tomorrow. It doesn’t mean you have a stupid child, it doesn’t mean you have a child who’s not intelligent, it doesn’t mean you do not have a challenge that would not be successful.

She said many people in the country did not pass for their first choice but went on to become successful citizens contributing to society. “So this time could be a very difficult time for parents and children. And often parents find themselves abusing their own children in the vein of trying to push them to be successful.”

She said the authority would caution parents to utilise self-control and seek help if they need to. “Do not put out your frustrations on the children,” she advised.

“YUH TOO WUTLESS”

She said the top three categories of abuse reported are sexual abuse, physical abuse and neglect, but for this awareness month, the authority wants to highlight other forms such as emotional and psychological abuse which is sometimes very difficult to detect.

“And very often as parents, guardians, caregivers and teachers we inflict without recognising that we have done it. We want to increase the public’s awareness of child abuse and the different forms of abuse because we want to build strong families.”

She said in society there was a propensity to denigrate children, call them stupid, “too wutless” or negatively compare them to siblings. “As parents often when we are upset with another partner or in a broken relationships we say, ‘you are like your father’ or ‘your mother.’ These are forms of abuse. Because it speaks to child being looked at in a negative light or blaming the child for things they have no part in.”

She said the primary alleged perpetrators of abuse are biological parents and if parents believe children are not behaving or are “too harden” they should get the tools to manage the behaviour and raise them into healthy adults.

Authority manager registry and investigations Rhonda Gregoire-Roopchan said emotional abuse is almost invisible and difficult to detect. She said ignoring or dismissing a child’s emotional reaction, shaming, humiliating, threatening, “scapegoating”, calling them hurtful names, constant criticising and comparing a child to siblings or friends are all components of emotional abuse.

“Calling that child a bad child, treating that child as if he/she is unlovable and persistently rejecting that child. These things have an impact on children in a very negative way.” She cautioned parents about being rigid during the time of SEA and having very high and unrealistic expectations for children given their capability and age. She said parents then threatening children when these expectations are not met could all contribute to emotional abuse.

GROSS UNDER REPORTING

She said the symptoms of emotional abuse may be aggressive behaviour, regressive behaviour, guilt, being withdrawn, learned helplessness, being passive, bed-wetting, consistent diarrhoea, chronic crying and self-harm, the latter which is becoming quite popular.

Children’s Authority chairman Hanif EA Benjamin said there is gross under-reporting and a lack of understanding about emotional abuse. “Many of us can still remember the bad things we were told as children.”

On Child Abuse Prevention Month, Benjamin said it will focus on promoting awareness about the dangers of child abuse and maltreatment and the promotion of healthy parenting and strong families. “Child protection is everyone’s business.”

The authority will conduct sensitisation sessions at Easter camps, football camps, police youth clubs, schools, media interviews and with teachers. The authority will also post messages and trivia via its social media and Facebook page, host live Facebook forums and have display booths at various locations.

Last week Education Minister Anthony Garcia urged parents not to stress their children prior to the exam on Thursday while clinical psychologist Dr Dianne Douglas also made a similar call. A total of 18,849 children will be sitting the SEA this year.