THE EDITOR: This is a response to the February 13 column by Dr Gabrielle Hosein titled “Hook meh” that explains the socially acceptable requirements of a man to “hook” a woman.
Based on the 2005 soca hit, Ah Hook, the artiste Blackie humorously does everything possible to keep his woman happy, hoping to gain sexual loyalty and affection by spending lots of money, washing clothes and hanging panties on the line to dry. Such extremes will make most men cringe and there is good reason for it.
There have been countless examples witnessed and experienced by men where they do all the things that Hosein laid out in her article to hook a woman, yet the relationship became advantageous as the man is seen more as a utility than a lover. Respect is lost and the woman considers ending the relationship if options are available.
We also have the unhappiness women experience. They do recognise this person as a good man as he does everything to keep her happy, fulfilling emotional and financial needs, but “something” is missing. Due to pressures such as age, many women end up “settling” for this type of man but deep down it is not the one they really wanted. According to her morals and logistics, she may have someone on the side to fulfil that missing piece.
Then we also have examples of men being useless in a relationship yet some women invest, have sex, procreate, and stick with them. In some cases, the man has moved on but the woman is still “hooked” on him and the memories years later.
The key to this puzzle has been lost in male-female discussions – sexual attraction.
A woman that does not have sexual attraction, or “chemistry,” or “spark,” or “feel” for a suitor will not consider him for an intimate relationship no matter how good of a man he is. Men are slowly realising that a woman will treat a man who she has sexual attraction for much differently than one she doesn’t. A man going through a boot camp to prove his worth based on good works is an act in futility since it doesn’t generate sexual attraction. Granted, there are the women who will deal with a man they are not sexually attracted too for the tangibles.
For a man to be considered sexually attractive he would usually be in good physical shape, embraces his masculinity, and the bonus of working on his life purpose. It is the responsibility of the man to positively develop these areas.
With bad diet practices, conflicting definitions on what masculinity is, and hardships such as retrenchment and bankruptcy, we have a group of confused and frustrated men in our society with women feeling the same. We must not be naive of the importance sexual attraction plays between the sexes every day.
Hosein, will you be attracted and aroused to the type of man recommended in your article who has already framed himself as a good mook or a last resort? The requirements men are told in order to hook a woman usually conflicts with what happens in reality and, sometimes, in secret.
Good luck, Gabrielle.
RICKY-RAMZAN ALI, Pointe-a-Pierre