Stacey Ann Beckles: From prison to purpose

She speaks her mind.

She is frank, bold and assertive. Yet her smile is tender. It's a trait, she said, she learnt from behind prison walls: how to smile and be strong even in the face of extreme adversity. She stressed, though, during her interview with WMN, that she does nothing without first seeking God's guidance.

Recently, as part of a three-video series on domestic violence, Rev Stacey Ann Beckles shared her experiences: surviving an abusive relationship and imprisonment.

In the video, hosted by the Coalition Against Domestic Violence and aired both on social media and on television, Beckles and four other survivors spoke out on abuse.

It's not all she's determined to do, though; the internationally ordained reverend and chaplain is part of The Roots Foundation TT, bent on continuing to raise awareness and speak out on abuse from its roots: the nation's homes and schools.

So far, the collaborative effort has seen Beckles, Imam Mtimia Solwazi and Pastor Gary Grant, visiting 19 secondary schools across the country.

"We go wherever we are needed, but according to where we are led by God. There are no religious restrictions, but we are also very aware that not all invitations are to be accepted. Where we are led, we go," Beckles told WMN.

While she willingly shares her journey through and out of abuse, Beckles refuses to use it as her label. She will only speak on it if asked to.

In fact, Beckles stressed her job is to “above all else, get the word of God out there."

Beckles, also the CEO of an NGO, Women of Transformation told WMN of her intent to make a difference in the lives of others involved in crime and abuse, whether perpetrator of victim.

She said she did not consider her abuser, who was killed just two months shy of her release from prison, a “bad man.” In fact she said, she had been praying for God to continue to change him, so that they would marry when she got out of prison.

The couple had a two-year-old girl when Beckles begun her eight-year sentence in 2010. Beckles had been arrested and charged for drug trafficking at the Piarco International Airport, in 2001 and had waited almost ten years for her case to reach High Court.

"For me, prison was my pruning grounds. It’s where I was taught to be bold, to speak out. It's where I got all my academic subjects, learnt craft, music, public speaking and how to write and deliver poetry and the spoken word. There are a lot of good women, mothers, daughters, aunties, nieces, sisters who lived a life of licks for years and killed their abusers and are today sitting in prison. But it was these same women who were my biggest encouragers. They taught me how to walk without my mental crutches," she said passionately.

Beckles’s story is reminiscent of a Lifetime movie: sexually abused as a child, abused by a man she loved and then being imprisoned for smuggling drugs.

She was frank as she spoke about becoming involved with "drug dealers and smokers" from her mid-teens and choosing to "break biche", rather than to go to school.

She is adamant that women need to reach out and help other women – to lend a listening ear, give sound advice, intervene when and if they can, but do so with God's guidance and only by putting safety first, for all involved.

She recalled the reservations of her own friends and family of getting directly involved when she was being abused.

She recalled the attitude of the police officers she encountered when her abuser ripped up a protective order and told her fearlessly, he "didn't mind them coming" for him.

The church, she said, advised her to pray but was unable to convince her to get out or to reassure her that they could protect her from him.

Beckles, though, continues to smile, even though her right eye was permanently damaged after her abuser cuffed her in her face.

As CEO of Women of Transformation, formed 2017, she mentors young women and girls to make better choices now, so that they would have less regrets later in life. Beckles, who said she once lost her identity in loving her abuser and the life she afforded herself through crime, said her NGO is determined to help women find themselves holistically.

She said her life, which was once spent travelling, shopping and driving expensive vehicles, now focussed on the podium addressing an audience, whether in a church, school or prison auditorium.

As she speaks with such self-assurance, it is hard to believe anyone could have tamed her assertiveness. As she noted, though, his possessiveness was a display of what passed for love.

She said many times two factors hold victims in place: a burning desire to see their abuser change for them and misguided notions of love. It's partly what kept her with him, she said.

"It's not wrong to love someone who hurts you, it's wrong to accept that they do, it's wrong to accept their toxic behaviour," she advised.

She thanks God, her two eldest children did not witness her abuse, as they lived abroad from a young age and very early in her relationship. Her youngest was just a toddler when, she said, God begun to deliver her.

"When you do not make up your own mind to walk away from abuse, which in itself is as much a drug as cocaine, you will never leave. I said enough is enough in silence and behind walls and God put me in prison. I didn't really start healing until I went to prison.”

Beckles also spoke about her own display of abusive tendencies. She said before she was healed, she too would lash out.

Now, she shares smiles, as she journeys with young women and girls who need someone to encourage them towards making better choices.