Inside Our Heads

A friend sent me a whatsapp message last week.

"I think I want to do coastal life. Like you know, live off the land, walk down the road in the village to buy my bread fresh from the bakery, that sort of life. Simple. Less expectations from myself and people," (Not these exact words, but this was the gist – simple, no modern trappings. Walks down the road).

I couldn’t see her living that life, however, given the nature of the character we are referencing here. This is someone who hates the sun, can’t be bothered to go to the beach during the day and just a few days ago, refused to agree to do a backpacking trip with me because this is in no way a vacation.

"No a/c? No hotel? Hell no! You doing that by yourself sister!"

So it was, she sent me packing to go off on this trip alone. And so I shall, knowing that never the twain shall meet, though I love her dearly.

It is not the first of my friends to speak about this "simple" life. I look at them, these curious girls who vacillate between wanting it all, and wanting the bare minimum. But this isn’t just my friends’ desire. The movement towards simplicity seems to be a phenomenon in the Western part of the world, perhaps even a growing culture now – small homes, minimalism, vegan lifestyles, raw foods – the list goes on.

Their desire for this simplicity isn’t really about planting the land, or fishing, or walking down the road to get some bread. This is really to my own mind, a desire to de-clutter, to hear our own voices. It is a desire to be released from the constant bombardment of advertisements and voices that say "you aren’t good enough until you have…" It is a desire to be grounded in oneself, to follow one’s own path, not dictated by society’s voice. It is all these things bundled and mixed into this one desire to just escape it all. Each time the most unlikely person to "live simply" says that he/she wants to live off the land, I think, "What is it really about?"

Hopefully I am not conveying here that I have it all together. Quite the opposite. I doubt that any one of us really does have everything nicely packaged. The reality is that the ideal of perfection is at best elusive. But we persevere to be whole, constantly plugging holes, trying new hats, new couches (in my case), to try to find the one that is comfortable for us, to find the life that best suits us.

At the heart of the search for the perfect couch "isn’t so much about the couch," a friend pointed out. "This is about you just finding the perfect fit." Six weeks have now passed and finally, I have decided. I write, just a little snippet, as I think about those around me who crave the simple life. This really is about finding our centre. And in the loudness of modern life, many people struggle with raising their personal volume above it.

The current Facebook post which many have been sharing: “Reminder to ANYONE that my house is a safe zone…Could at least one friend copy this and repost.

#MentalHealthAwareness. #ItsOkNotToBeOk tells the story of how much more the awareness of mental health issues has spread. Since the writing of these columns over the past two months, in which I have been discussing my own journey through therapy, not less than six individuals have phoned or sent messages to ask for recommendations for therapists. Even while asking, some expressed hesitation at actually going due to the social stigma associated with psychotherapy. Others fear, because it is an unfamiliar space. Yet, it is interesting to note that there are people out there who are aware that they need assistance, but these legitimate factors preventing people’s openness to asking for it.

Recently, I have had no urge to write about our deplorable crime situation, the economic situation or the fact that citizens are on edge because our leaders have no particular interest in anyone but themselves. Instead we turn the focus inward. Our growing desire for simple lives should tell us that something is actually not quite right with the way that we live now. It should, therefore, force us to stand back and "unpack" (as my therapist might advise) what lies beneath that desire. It will be worth noting that while we clamour for change, our personal healing, is one of the more powerful paths towards creating individual and social change.

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"Inside Our Heads"

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