Deneka rants her way to top spot

Deneka Thomas performs her winning piece, Chronicles of a Ranting Closet.
Deneka Thomas performs her winning piece, Chronicles of a Ranting Closet.

The Chronicles of a Ranting Closet was the hardest poem 2018 Grand Slam Champion Deneka Thomas ever had to write.

She said she struggled to write the piece and was deliberate with every word she chose because “the personal stakes were high”, and the marketing for the First Citizen’s National Poetry Grand Slam was excellent so she wanted to do a good job.

She explained that the poem personified the proverbial closet, which was upset because people had to hide in it. She wanted it to be like the closet in the Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe so it could carry those in it to a place like Narnia, where people who were ostracised for their sexuality could escape.

“It highlighted that it was a matter of safety, a matter of life and death. Everyday, existing as a queer person is a risk. We shouldn’t be so hard on people for being who they are, even if it is against their beliefs.”

Thomas said the moment she decided to write the piece she either was more aware of, or had more negative reactions towards her and her lifestyle. She said she wanted to quit many times as she was working through her own personal struggles. But she persevered because it was what she was feeling in her heart and her concern was how best she could bring the message across to the audience. The piece, she said, was exactly how she and a lot of other queer people felt.

She was also anxious about performing it as the poem was very personal and felt like proof of her sexuality. Although she was concerned for her safety and her career, she still performed Chronicles of a Ranting Closet on April 29 at the National Academy for the Performing Arts to a packed audience. She said she did it because she believed Slam was the biggest stage for a poet and she really wanted her story to be heard. She did not want to waste the opportunity to say something meaningful and to touch a large audience.

Thomas has been writing on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) issues for years. Her 2015 Slam piece was about a homophobic mother discriminating against her son, which drove him to eventually commit suicide. “I feel that a lot of folks think the buggery law ruling motivated me to write the piece, but I’m in the LGBT community. I work with LGBT organisations that promote LGBT rights... I feel this year I’ve been in an evolutionary state where I am starting to get more comfortable with who I am. My writing also evolved where I am more comfortable to speak about those issues openly, without fear of being judged myself, especially with the current climate of Trinidad.”

Thomas told Sunday Newsday when her name was called as the winner, it was an “out of body experience.” She said when she came off the stage she felt that her delivery was not perfect and she did not write the piece to win, so she did not expect to do so.

In addition, she said although she was confident in her poem and knew there was a possibility she could place in the top three, she had made it to the finals twice before but had not placed first.

“I felt overly critical of myself because I needed, needed the piece to come across as clearly as possible... When I heard Kyle (Hernandez – 2nd) and Idrees (Saleem – 3rd) names called I was trying to think who else were real good that could possibly take the title.”

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“I didn’t even put myself in that running because it really wasn’t about that for me. The most important thing was telling that story and making sure I tell it well.”

Thomas has been writing since her days in primary school. Back then she wrote short stories, calypsoes and soca songs with the help of the late Brian Honoré, known for his portrayal of the Carnival character, The Midnight Robber.

However, it was only when she got 100 per cent in creative writing in her Secondary Entrance Assessment exam did she believe writing was something she was good at. She soon started writing poetry and used it as an emotional outlet during secondary school.

After secondary school and while studying for an associate degree in Adult Education and Teaching at the Catholic Religious Education Development Institute, she sang at open mic and other events. It was at one of these events that she heard the members of The 2 Cents Movement perform spoken word poetry. She saw them and wanted her work to look and sound like that.

She started to study pre-med Biology and eventually joined up with 2 Cents Movement in 2014, becoming part of the NGO’s school tours. “In my third year I decided out of nowhere really that this is not what I want to spend my life doing. I was in class trying to motivate myself but I really just wanted to try my hand at spoken word poetry and teaching artistry... I realised it was more than therapy for me. It was a tool for change and to talk about real issues.”

However, it wasn’t until 2015 that she decided spoken word would be her career. She recalled working at the Immigration Division as a clerk at the time and, coming down to the end of her contract, she decided to give spoken word a try full-time.

Thomas said she looked up to spoken word artist Derron Sandy, and had received a lot of help with her performance and combatting stage fright from the people at 2 Cents and poet Arielle John. “She guided the process of my finding my unique voice, not just exhibiting stereotypical spoken word poetry, but just being me and having a brand of my own rather than sounding like other people.”

She said she took the opportunity to use everything around her to develop and grow. Therefore she learned from the students with whom she interacted as a programme manager and lead teaching artist at Girl Be Heard TT, as well as society and life in general.

She said in her five years of performing spoken word she has seen the power of a poem, and art as the whole, to affect change on how people think or react. It pushed her to define her themes so she focussed on gender issues, the environment, and LGBT issues.

At the moment she is working on developing her brand. She said it took a lot of hard work, sleepless nights, and poverty – performing for no pay and hoping there would be returns at some future point. “I want to get to a place where my name says it all. To get to that place where I don’t have to explain all of the things I’ve been doing. I think I’m getting closer and closer to that place.”

She thanked her mother, who has been her biggest supporter, who knew and understood all the sacrifices she made, and never questioned her career decisions.

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