SANDRINE RATTAN (WITH WOMEN IN MIND)
Accusations are useless –Dominique de Villepin
Through my work with women over the years, at least eight out of ten have expressed concerns of being falsely accused in different spaces, either in their relationship, family circle or in the workplace.
Being falsely accused is extremely painful and I would like to preface today’s feature by pleading with individuals who may have such tendencies to immediately desist. Remember accusing people of something that they know nothing of, or something they have not done, can be one of their worst nightmares as the consequences of such actions have the potential for a lifetime smear.
Relationships in particular suffer the fate of accusations that are untrue and if not well managed, create a huge wedge between partners. Research has shown that those who engage in such activity may have had specific type of life experiences which would have led them to falsely accuse others, some may have been hurt in a relationship, or even by a family member which also creates high levels of distrust. They may have also witnessed particular incidents in different spaces which can result in false accusations.
Sometimes false accusations are aimed at reminding you of something that happened in the past, and one must always be wary of that.
Other research studies suggest that sociopaths, described as people with a personality disorder that manifest itself in extreme anti-social attitudes and behavioural patterns, are usually guilty of falsely accusing others. They tend to assert great levels of control, and sometimes feel isolated from the norm.
Dealing with false accusations first requires a mind of peace. Start by stating the facts as concisely as you possibly can, and ensure that your accuser is ready to listen. Find out the source of the accusation, and why the accuser is willing to believe what was said. Seek help in your situation by strengthening your social and family network and share the facts. Learn to forgive along the way, don’t allow your anger to take hold of your being and reach out and forgive your accuser. Re-invest in yourself as your self-esteem may have been tarnished due to the accusations that were levied against you. Continuously re-affirm to yourself that you will continue to be the best that you can be.
As a victim of false accusations, keep in mind that there’s something going on with your accuser, perhaps some past hurt and/or fear is the major influence, and falsely accusing is just a re-inventor. Just keep standing solid knowing that you are not guilty.
Sandrine Rattan is a communications/branding consultant, author and president of the International Women’s Resource Network (IWRN). Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com or contact 283-0318.