Keith Rowley, songwriter

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY

KES THE BAND’S 2019 hit, Savannah Grass, has got under my skin and into my heart, and not just because it’s one of the handful of songs that actually has a melody, as opposed to a vocal chant by a chorus of men who can’t sing. Savannah Grass is one of those deceptively simple songs that make you think you – or anyone – could write a song, too.

And that got me to thinking: what would the song have turned out like if some other public figures had written Savannah Grass?

Here, then, are a few versions, as I imagine them written by others. To appreciate the new lyrics, you have to know at least the first verse and chorus of the original, which are:

Oh na na na na/ Mmmm/ Eh-eh/ If you know, yeah/ Then you know, yeah eh/ We all on the ground yeah/ We holding it down, yeah/ We open the story/ It’s a band on Jouve morning/ Everybody coming in eh/ We ready to ready to go yeah/ We go make them jump/ We go make them turn up/ We go make them wine/ We go make them free up/ It’s the place of bacchanal/ It’s the sweet botanical/ This Carnival/ I want you to/ Find your way/ Everybody on stage/ Oh laad oh/ If you coming down/ From the mountain/ Oh gaad oh/ When the riddim beating in town/ See me jumping up on/ The Savannah Grass/ The Savannah Grass.

(You can search the full lyrics online, but remember they’re transcribed by Trinis and are often replete with mondegreens.)

If TT Prime Minister Keith Rowley had penned it, then the song might have been: People Cut--se by Keith the Rottweiler.

Oh Pee Enn/ Emmm/ Eh-eh/ If you slow, yeah/ And you don’t know, yeah eh/ We wearing the crown yeah/ We is pure clown, yeah/ We run Parliament yes-I/ Dunce in jacket and balisier tie/ Everybody bazodee eh/ We really we really stupidee yeah/ We go make them f--t/ We go break them heart/ We go lace them behind/ We go make them give up/ We are the heirs of Eric the Doc/ And we really don’t give a firetruck/ This next budget/ We want you to/ Lose your whole pay/ Everybody on CEPEP yay/ Oh laad oh/ If flood coming down/ From the mountain/ Oh gaad oh/ When police beating man in town/ See me jumping up on/ The People Cuta--se/ The People Cut--se.

If written by Opposition Leader Kamla Persad-Bissessar, Savannah Grass might have come out as the same People Cut--se, except with a few lines changed:

Oh you ent see/ Mmmm/ Eh-eh/ We get your vote, yeah/ We cut your throat, yeah eh/ We all underground yeah/ We move money around, yeah/ We open Treasury/ It’s bandits on a big spree/ Everybody falling een eh/ We ready to ready to tief yeah/ We go pay we own bail/ Nobody will make a jail/ We go make them resign/ We go make them clam up/ It’s the place of UNC/ It’s the sweet money curry/ This Parliament/ I want you to/ Fake government/ Everybody on the same page/ Oh laad oh/ If oil price coming down/ Gas still flowing to Town/ Oh gaad oh/ When it have nothing else to tief/ The country will have to take they relief/ Everybody now turning cow/ Eating Savannah Grass/ Eat Savannah Grass.

If Donald Trump had come to Trinidad for Carnival and caught the songwriting bug, Trini-style, he might have penned:

Oh na na Nancy Pelosi/ What you doing to me/ Eh-eh/ If I fat, yeah/ And my brain splat, yeah eh/ I going to ground now yeah/ I collude in Moscow, yeah/ I cover up the story/ It’s a bandwagon on election morning/ Everybody running out flat eh/ I ready to ready to shoot rat yeah/ I go make Cohen dread/ I go make blue vote turn to red/ Them can’t make me refined/ I go make them lock me up/ It’s a White House in denial/ It’s high crimes and treason, pal/ I hypocritical/ I want you to/ Tell all my lie for true/ Every white American enrage/ Oh laad oh/ If I going down/ Ivanka go take my crown/ Oh gaad oh/ When the Nazis parading in town/ See me jumping up on/ The Constitution Ash/ The Constitution Ash.

BC Pires is a mockingbird. Read a longer version of this column on Saturday at www.BCPires.com