My name is Kelvin

Sexual abuse by a priest from the age of eight introduced him to homosexuality. Thirty years later, Kelvin Darlington, previously known as Saucy Pow, is ready to turn his life around and encourages other gay men to do the same.

Darlington was a well known cross-dresser and sex worker. He would often be found at bars, gay parties, and on Maracas Bay, dancing suggestively or just liming with friends. On August 4, a video was posted on Facebook of Darlington on a boat cruise, encouraging people to “go to church and learn about Christ.” He further said that he was no longer Saucy Pow but wanted to be called by his given name, Kevin (sic).

In a separate Facebook video, posted on August 14, he said he was willing to change his lifestyle, and told others not to get involved in homosexual activities. He said he was “on the street” when a woman told him he was not supposed to be involved in that lifestyle. He said it was wrong in the eyes of God and encouraged others to go to church, learn about Christ, and change their lives.

He also said he did not want gay rights to be legalised in TT, and that parents should protect their children, listen to them, keep them at home, and not let them get involved in a gay lifestyle. He said he saw a lot of children “making fares” on Murray Street in Woodbrook, Port of Spain, a street know as a place prostitutes picked up customers, and was concerned that would be the path for gay boys.

Still flamboyant in his mannerisms, Darlington told Sunday Newsday he was no longer attracted to men. He said he was not born gay, nor did he believe anyone else was. Instead, he believed gay men were either sexually abused as youths, wanted to experiment sexually, or liked the idea of the parties and other aspects of the lifestyle.

In his case, it was abuse by someone who was supposed to care for and give spiritual guidance to impressionable children that set him on his path.

He said at the age of eight, his mother sent him and one of his six brothers away from their home in Tobago to a children’s home in Port of Spain. He was not academically inclined and was taught several trades including plumbing, gardening, and dancing. While he enjoyed those activities, he would lament his fate as he was bullied and beaten, did not sit Common Entrance because he never learned to read or write well, and was sexually abused.

“I was not happy in the home... When I was there we can’t sleep in the night. When I was in the dormitory I got raped by the priest. He did that to plenty of the boys in the night... It isn’t right how these mothers not taking care of their children and you put them in that for nothing and people want to find out if you born with the gay. I say no.”

At age 16 he was moved to a boys’ hostel on Duncan Street, Port of Spain and started to “make fares” to earn money. Eventually, a woman who knew his mother from Tobago invited him to live at her home in La Horquetta.

At one point she went to the US to visit family. While she was gone, her husband would beat and rape him. The woman’s family members in TT told her about it and she returned to confront her husband. However the man denied ever touching him and Darlington was put out of the house.

Now homeless, Darlington went to a man he had previously met in Arima, the owner of a place called House of Matthew which featured male and female dancers and prostitutes. “I was staying there and helping him clean up, work fares, and that kinda stuff... When I was by Matthew, that’s when that whole thing (dressing as a woman) start.”

He said people told him he looked better than many women, that others used to ask if he was a boy or a girl and he would tell them “the truth,” that he was a boy and a girl.

According to Darlington, he continued along that path until his arrest in January 2016. He was arrested and charged with sexually assaulting a 15-year-old boy, which he denied, and spent about six months in jail.

He recalled that the prison officers kept him separate from the general population and guarded him all day. He said they used to talk to him and told him to never do anything to return to prison. Therefore, when he came out of jail he stopped “taking fares” although he continued to party, dance suggestively in public and dress like a woman.

Turning point

Around the beginning of July, Darlington was approached by a Christian woman who knew him, as many did, as Saucy or Kevin while he was in San Juan.

“She saw me in a dress in San Juan and said to me, ‘Saucy, that’s not you at all.’ She tell me take off the dress and go to church to learn about what going on in Christ. This person who always see me in San Juan dress up, we sat down and talk. After I told her I want to be how I was but then I think about it and decide that’s not for me.”

He said she and her son believed in him, encouraged him to do the right thing and took him to a Catholic church in San Juan every Sunday. He described them as kind, lovely people who cared for him and sometimes carried him for lunch and dinner. “She said Saucy, I’m going to carry you to church and let these church people pray for you, let these people talk to you, let you know how to know God and that kinda stuff.”

Asked about his experience at the church he said he learned what was right and wrong. He said the church and its members “see about him,” and got him male clothes. He added that he used to attend a Seventh-day Adventist church but when the members saw him in the newspaper or the internet, they would “shun” him.

He recalled that during his lifetime he would want to hurt or kill himself but he felt accepted and safe at this new church, and so felt that he needed to tell the general public about his old and new life.

Why, if he was not gay, did he attend the Pride Parade on July 28? He said while he was no longer attracted to men, he still liked to party and dance, and he wanted to support his gay friends.

“Them is the only people used to talk to me... They nice, they loving, they always talk to me, they don’t want anybody to beat me up. When you touch somebody they coming behind you! I still prefer them as friends... I always check for everybody in that gay life.”

Although he supported his gay friends, Darlington said he did not want homosexuals to have legal rights in TT for two main reasons. One was that he believed it would embolden perverts who prey on young boys to harass and abuse them. The second reason was if gay people were to be openly gay, they would be targeted, attacked or killed by bigoted people in society.

He recalled that he was beaten, pelted with stones, and cursed at many times over the years. “If they legalise the gay rights, some of my friends going and dead. Right now a lot of people killing everybody. I don’t want nothing to happen to them. There are a lot of people after me because of how my life was. That’s why I tell myself I need to change my life. There is also a lot of big men looking for little children to have sex and all kinda drama. That is why I always tell myself I don’t want that to legalise. If they legalise that real people going an dead. I always tell myself they could keep that under low.”

He said he could not judge anyone but he did not want any child to go through the things he had to endure.

Darlington now has a girlfriend and is looking for a permanent job.