Giselle Hudson writes a weekly column for the Business Day.
We all have great reasons why something is not happening as it should in our lives. We can recite the things on that list off the top of our heads. Yet we know that the only thing we can do to change, is to take responsibility. In order for anything to change, we need to change first. An old Amway saying I picked up many moons ago: In order to change some things in your life, you need to change some things in your life. How do you know you need to change? If you’re not yet getting the results you’re after, then changing is imminent.
According to Louise Hay, we all suffer from self-hatred and guilt. We often think, “We’re not good enough” and with that comes loads of resentment and a great capacity to be critical. She says, “I find that resentment, criticism, guilt and fear cause more problems than anything else.” We blame others and don’t take responsibility for our own experiences. “You see, if we are all responsible for everything in our lives, then there is no one to blame. Whatever is happening out there is only a mirror of our own inner thinking.”
In her book You’re a Badass at Making Money, author Jen Sincero says, “All living things come hardwired with certain traits and characteristics that are part of our nature. Meaning that these things come naturally to us, they’re what we’re meant to do and they’re how universal intelligence flows though us best. Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim etc. When we push against who we naturally are, we feel stress, things don’t progress easily, we beat ourselves up for getting crappy results, and everything is an effort.”
This is why we need to stop listening to what everyone else thinks you should be doing and focus on what you think you need to do. Not the scared you, the you that comes up with the great ideas or the vision or way to do something better.
Jen says, “…when you try to force your way through life, it can make sitting on your butt at a desk all day utterly exhausting if that’s not what you want to do. Meanwhile, when you listen to your heart and connect with who you’re meant to become, you have energy because you’re in a state of flow, things happen more easily, opportunities land in your lap, you’re turned on, inspired, engulfed in a sea of brilliant ideas. Yes, there will be challenges, and things will blow up in your face, but learning experiences are different from wasting your life pushing a boulder up a hill.”
Have you ever been told that you hold so much promise? That you have a lot of potential?
When you hear that, how do you feel?
In my own life I was tired of hearing it because nothing seemed to change as the days and subsequent years sailed by. I was in the same position, not feeling like I had made any progress. I was in a job I didn’t like, with plenty month at the end of the money consistently. I had huge dreams but felt that they would remain the rant of a mad woman who had a huge imagination. Although I knew all the steps to goal setting, it seemed as if goal-setting was a game to get you frustrated and eventually quit the game altogether.
Until one day I heard this:
People form habits, and habits form futures.
This was from Mike Litman, on his Greatness Held Hostage audio recording.
I realised that you either had to inculcate success habits into your life or you would continue being praised for your remarkable talent but remain equally frustrated by your poor or non-existent results.
If you know what you want, and you want it badly, and you construct a plan to get there believing that if you do what you say you’re going to do that you will get the results you want – why don’t you succeed?
Entrepreneur James Clear says “There is a surprisingly narrow gap that separates the good performance from the great performance. And that narrow gap is separated by small habits and daily rituals.”
There’s that word again – habits.
What are your predominant habits?
If one of your predominant habits is to complain, then you’re not going to ever be truly successful. Watch your language. Check to see if you’re prone to hyperbole, turning molehills into mountains. Look at what you’re accusing others of; is it really their fault? And finally, confront your own fascination with drama; why do bring it into your life and use it as a reason why you’re not yet where you want to be? Remember, you need to want your dreams more than you want your drama in order to be successful.
Fed up of forcing your way through life? Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org for a FREE guide Stop Holding Your Greatness Hostage.