Let no man pull you low enough to hate him. - Martin Luther King, Jnr
Often times I would observe posts from some of my social media friends in which they’re paying attention to haters and I would sometimes respond by saying transfer your love and attention to lovers not haters.
Hate is a word that I am hearing much too often and I would preface my feature today by asking readers to avoid purchasing the hate pill when they visit their emotional pharmacy. Hate is useless as it is filled with darkness and undue pain. But why hate? Research has offered a number of reasons why hate exist which quite frankly I consider to be superfluous, particularly when each and every one of us on this earth was uniquely created and deserve a space to comfortably co-exist.
Different life experiences lead people along the lines of hatred and that is indeed unfortunate. If someone has something which you don’t have that’s their wish and right and therefore should not be bothersome to you; if someone is enjoying the fruits of their labour in a particular career and/or or business, try to learn some lessons from their success which can no doubt support and/or improve your own endeavours.
Life is not a competition but rather about living and enjoying happy moments even if it means just being alive. There is no need to bear hate for someone who may have ruined what was once a wonderful friendship, just pick up the pieces and move on; you may have been in an intimate relationship which now offers you regretful and painful memories, though difficult, let it go and move on; you also need to build strong capacity of resilience to deal with disappointments from within your family circle including your children, your neighbourhood or even your workplace. Hate also comes from a place of seeking attention, there is no need to seek attention, it will come to you once the circumstances permit.
Dealing with people with whom you assume may spew hate towards you requires some basic skills, firstly don’t take their actions personally as it’s all about them and not you. Ignore and avoid responding to hateful comments as that exacerbates an already terrible situation; if ignoring does not work, then it may be advisable to use a direct approach in attempting to arrive at an amicable solution.
Minimise your negative interactions with the individuals and instead build a circle of supportive people with positive influence; depending on the relationship between you and those inflicting the hateful pain, set boundaries to avoid further cracks in the relationship. It may be wise to let the person know that you are not appreciative of their negative behaviour and attempt to make amends. Spread love not hate.
Sandrine Rattan is a communications/branding consultant, author and president of the International Women’s Resource Network (IWRN) Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com or contact 283-0318.
She writes a weekly column for Newsday called With Women in Mind.